I've never called anyone a bigot. Neither do I intend to. I'm reminded always of Ambrose Bierce's definition of the word: "One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion which you ydo not entertain." Furthermore, I've never heard anyone use the phrase except when completely unable to counter an argument. It's name-calling. It's not rhetoric, or logic, or anything else ending with -ic; just pointless, and arguably meaningless, abuse. If I hear a chap get told he's a bigot, I side

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I read that scientists, by using magnets, had 'turned off' the threat centres in people's brains, and that this made them 'change their attitudes towards immigrants.' Obviously, the stunning revelation that people don't like immigrants because they feel threatened by them is one that will echo down the ages as a revelation made possible only by scientific brilliance, but given that such experiments are likely to continue, I'd like to make a few predictions.

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Occasionally, I find myself having friends whom it would be easier to describe as fans. One or two of them have been so impressed by the half-dazed nonsense I say that they have immediately written it down for later. They seem to think I'm funny, or something. Typically, I later have no recollection of saying them. Anyway, here are some of my favourites:
- I'm not an actor, I'm a real person.
- Spats are pretty cool. Everyone knows that, because... [trails off]
- German marzipan... Nazipan?

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I needed a laugh, so I ran an internet image search for 'funny'. Nothing more than vaguely amusing presented itself. Does anyone know the approximate date on which humans gave up on wit and situational humour and replaced them with captioned images of animals pulling unlikely faces?

I've seen the phrase "Don't read it if you don't like it!" written on quite a lot of fanfictions lately. Granted, I've been seeking out the truly awful ones (sorting the chaff from the wheat, as it were) for my personal collection, so that might explain why I've seen so much of it. Read on for my thoughts.

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Crank up the bull***t detector, guys and gals. I'm about to vomit.

Interesting opinion test:
"I think the world would be a better place if Adolf Hitler had never been born." - Not respected, as it disrespects Ol' Hitler's existence.
"I think every man should have his genitals placed in a blender and thereby ripped off." - Respected, as the men will be allowed to continue to exist.

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It occurs to me that the people who claim that 'everyone is beautiful' are the same people who go around telling each other that they're beautiful. Now, correct me if I'm wrong,* but surely this renders the compliment meaningless. It is roughly equivalent to saying "You're just like everyone else." I shan't pretend I've met everyone else, but I've met some of them, and, frankly, the less like them I am, the better. Based on this logic, the next one to tell me I'm beautiful gets a punch up the

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One thing I've noticed a lot of around YouTube recently is videos with 'X but Y' titles. You know, things like 'Dragon Ball Z but every time we see people screaming at each other in a desert the video speeds up', or 'Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart but it's a Pokemon boss-battle theme'. With this in mind, is there any chance of seeing 'Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones but every time Hayden Christensen appears the film ends' or 'The Doctor Who Christmas Special but as soon as the plot

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